Woke up, looked at some stuff on my desk, scanned the news for the first time in months and asked myself what it means to create out of my own capacity or being led by something bigger, the latter bringing me into the moment of just doing, not thinking. So now I feel blocked because I ask myself whether I should only work when I feel ‘inspired’ for it to be an authentic piece of art or should I play around with materials to link into the flow of inspiration, risking that it might not come? I don’t want to illustrate. I don’t see the point in taking something and putting it in paint for example if I can say it with words? I would just be translating an idea or feeling from one medium, from one form of expression to another. I don’t want to be a translator, I want to be a creator. And now I ask myself if I can just be that, or if it is something I have to allow, not block, to not resist. Even writing this takes time out of the fear of starting with something that means nothing anyway.