So there was a time when I realised that all will be broken into wholes, standing next to me on the playground waiting for the sun to come up that we don’t hurt ourselves hugging cold steel beems covered in frost. It was cold, deep down it was cold and the hair on my forearms tingled and jumped across infinity and then my chin lifted and my eyes started feeling black and silver marching into my brain like soldiers. Soldiers that you noticed too late. When you can’t stop anymore, when the mind’s giro collapses and spins and spins and spins. And I feel sick, so there is then a link between the upper and the lower, between the body and the mind, or has there always been and I’m just so confused about my perception of being, again. I become fuller and fuller and rounder and rounder feeling the warmth of distraction creeping in, and as has been said, in between things are always not. Blackness, leave me, leave me alone in light. Don’t hunt me like a lion hunts an antelope, hunt me like it does not matter, as if nothing ever did, as that is what scares me most. Oh there I said it, you evil witch. But wait, vulnerability should be my asset, so let me open up even more, share with you my fears that will only give you comfort.